A SPINNER'S DICTIONARY

PICK YOUR POISON.

Did you know that letters on manual typewriter keyboards were arranged to actually slow down typewriters. People like me who talk before they think would say ''That's crazy! Why slow down productivity?'' People who think before they talk would easily reply ''To prevent jamming the keyboard too much.'' Huh.  

ABASHED

The feeling you get when you try to cough while farting in public but doesn't quite cover the noise. Or smell.

ABBREVIATION

The laziness of the vocabulary.

ABHORRENCE

The feeling you get about yourself after eating a Big Mac. Or two. In a row.

ABIOTIC

Something that can't scream back.

ABNEGATION

A fancy way to say ''No way José''.

ABORIGINAL

Means 'First' when it comes to a civilization. So really a gold medal should be named 'Aboriginal medal'. I would like that.

ABOUND

A buttload. Yeah I know I used buttload for myriad. It's not my fault if it means the same thing!

ABOUT-FACE

A dramatic turn of the head that should always be played in slow-motion with a dramatic piece of music in the background.

ABRACADABRA

A magic word that sadly yields to nothing. I kid you not, it IS in the real dictionary. Look it up!

ABRIDGE

It's not a bridge.

ABSCESS

A great insult.

ABSOLUTELY

A word impossible to say confidently when you are not confident.

ABSOLUTION

The reason to pay lawyers a lot of money.

ABSTINENCE

Something impossible to impose.

ABSTRUCE

Mmmh. The word is his own definition.

ABUZZ

The state of people waiting in line of any movie premiere. Or me in a bakery. Mostly me in a bakery.

ABYSS

A hole. Figural and litteral.

A CAPPELLA

Something I do too often in the shower. 

ACCENTUATE

How most people treat an open bar in any kind of party. 

ACCLAIM

My ultimate wish for A Spinner's Footnotes.

ACCOLADE

Another wish for A Spinner's Footnotes. This one would probably blow my head off in the best of ways. 

ACCOST

Something many people do (like me) without realizing it most of the time.

ACCOUTREMENT

A great example would be the subject of Corey Hart's most famous song. 

ACERBIC

A elegant way to describe an 'Internet troll'

ACHILLES HEEL

Mine would be acerbic comments.

ACQUAINTANCE

Between a friend and a stranger. 

ACUPUNCTURE

Pinhead's accoutrement.

ADIPOSE

The worst enemy of most women.

ADJUNCT

What dessert is for dinner according to most people. What dinner is for dessert according to me. 

ADMONISH

How vegans react about a love declaration for steaks and spare ribs.

ADULATION

My sentiment towards cookie dough ice cream.

AEGIS

Literally the role of four walls placed in a rectangle for a roof.

AFFABLE

Exactly what I achieved to be. That, and being hilarious. 

AFFLUENCE

To be literally able to figuratively 'make it rain'.

AFICIONADO

A less cringy term for 'geek', 'nerd' or 'fanboy/fangirl'

AFTERGLOW

A slightly disgusting sounding word which has a slightly disgusting meaning depending on the way you use it.

AFTERMATH

The (negative) result of something that was either 1. already negative or 2. seemed positive before the said result kicked in. 

AGHAST

Some people's reaction to this.

AGOG

That usual feeling you get whenever you exclaim ''FINALLY!''

AIRILY

A proper word to describe the perception of someone saying ''whatever''.

AIRSTRIP

The best AND the worst place to be for someone suffering from aerophobia.

AIRY-FAIRY

How dreamless people see dreamers.

AJAR

It's not a jar.

ALACRITY

A kind of happiness that should not be invested in people who don't deserve it.

ALFALFA

Probably the name of my first born. Sounds prestigious but really only means lucerne (the plant, not the city).

ALIENATION

One of the worst feelings.

ALIGHT

In the example of a bus catching fire, this word can describe what happens to both the bus, its passengers and a nearby pyromaniac's emotional state. 

ALIMONY

Proof that 'til death do us part' really works... for wallets. 

ALLEGORY

A crafty hidden meaning in a story or artwork that is usually explained by obnoxious people to folk who generally do not care.

ALLEVIATE

A fancy word for ‘lessen’.

ALLITERATION

Always avoid awful alliteration.

ALLSORTS

Underwhelming candies.

ALMA MATER

Less important than you might think.

ALMS

More important than you might think.

ALOOF

The state to be in when the inlaws fight among themselves.

AMALGAM

Sir Mix-A-Lot would be the spoke-person to that.

AMALGAMATE

If Sir Mix-A-Lot was a verb.

AMATEURISM

Something that gradually disappears with time and practice. Lots of practice.

AMATORY

I couldn’t describe it better than this.

AMBERGRIS

Will make you re-evaluate perfume altogether.

AMBIVALENCE

The reason why you feel bad after eating something that tastes so damn good.

AMENABLE

The true quality of an MVP.

AMENORRHEA

The only time an absence of bleeding is considered abnormal.

AMISS

A fancy word for ‘wrong’.

ANACHRONISM

A history teacher’s worst nightmare.

ANATHEMA

An insult for the intellectuals.

ANIMOSITY

The bad side of competitiveness.

ANONYMITY

The best way to do that is by changing your name. Think of anyone who would do such a thing?

ANTEROOM

 The place you must wait in before going reaching your destination.

ANTICLIMAX

A disappointing ending, like when you feel the sneeze tickling you nose for a few seconds and then… nothing.

ANTSY

What happens to you if you have ants in your undies.

APEX

A rectangle has 4, a triangle has 3, but a line has none. Huh.

APOSTATE

A contradiction to the saying “Only fools and dead men don't change their minds.’’

APOSTROPHE

How to link words and their meanings. 

APPORTION

A portion. Yes. I don’t know why they added a second P.

ARBORETUM

A natural one would be a forest.

ARCHAIC

A mean insult for senior citizens.

ARCHLY

A thin and difficult line to be in front of someone you like.

ARMADA

Never fails to be awesome in a fictional story, and heartbreaking in a real one.

ARMPIT

One of the worst part of a human body. It has hair, smells bad, and tickles when you try to scratch it.

ARSONIST

Starting a fire without being cold, or hungry, or mentally stable.

ASEXUAL

The complete opposite of A SEXUAL.

ASKANCE

How most grandmothers will look at your new boyfriend/girlfriend wearing a nose ring.

ASSENT

Agreeing.

ASSUAGE

What time does to bad memories.

ASTRINGENCY

Something you should google up, because I cannot explain it.

ATROPHY

What years of video games and absence of physical training do to muscles.

ATTEST

A thumbs up.

AUBURN

Not quite red. Not quite brown.

AURA

I would love to meet anyone who can see mine.

AUTODIDACT

How I started to write.

AVOCATION

Writing in a good example of a vocation and an avocation. In my wildest dreams, writing is NOT my avocation.

AWRY

Not quite right.

AZURE

A beautiful colour.

BABICHE

A type of thread used in shoes. The meaning is not really important here. BABICHE; how awesome does THAT sound!

BACKBITING

Something you shouldn’t do… unless the back really deserves it. And it would help another back.

BACKSIDE

Below the back and above the legs. If you know what I mean.

BAFFLEGAB

Some words you use and makes you smarter but will unfortunately make you appear dumber.

BAGUETTE

One of the most common French word according to non-French people.

BALDERDASH

Most of what I say.

BALLYHOO

To set expectations too damn high.

BANANA BELT

An overrated microclimate for people who love winter sports.

BANTAMWEIGHT

Something I haven’t been for a LOOOOOONG time.

BARNBURNER

Something surprisingly positive.

BARRENESS

No seeds will be able to thrive here.

BARRING

A fancy word for ‘without’.

BASMATI

A fancy type of rice.

BATED

I couldn’t describe it better than this.

BAYOU

If you’re born there, you could still hear your dog chasing down some hoodoo…

BEANBAG

The world’s most comfortable AND uncomfortable chair.

BEATIFIC

The purpose of so so so many drugs.

BEDRAGGLED

More annoying for some people than others.

BEFOUL

Dirtier… and NOT in the good way.

BELABOUR

How religion discussions usually turn into.

BELLIGERENCE

Overrated attitude towards conflicts.

BEMOAN

The feeling you get when a good tv show gets cancelled.

BEREFT

When you don’t have something that you can’t actually touch.

BESMIRCH

My shirt anytime I eat a meatball sub.

BEWAIL

The highest form of complaint.

BIAS

Something that can screw up an argument, debate or statistical analysis.

BIDDABLE

The top quality of dogs… and interns.

BILK

The justification of the saying ‘more money more problem’.

BILLOW

Fancy way to describe anything related to gas… as in the state of matter.

BLACKGUARD

A scoundrel.

BLANDISHMENT

Clearly flattery CAN get you somewhere according to this noun.

BLAZON

A prime example would be a face tattoo.

BLINTZ

Something DELICIOUS.

BLITHE

A careless obliviousness.

BLOOD-CURDLING

The literal definition would be the coagulation of blood, which is an example of the physical response to fear. Guess what it actually means?

BLOW-BY-BLOW

Replace ‘blow’ by ‘detail’ and you get the definition.

BLUISH

I first I thought… it cannot be blue-ish, as in a little bit blue, but yeah. It is exactly that.

BLUSTER

How people with a lack of confidence are interpreted by confident people during an argument.

BODACIOUS

According to Urban Dictionary, it is a combination of ‘bold’ and ‘audacious’ and means either large, excellent, or outstanding. To me, bold is already a synonym of audacious, and neither of those words means large, excellent or outstanding… But who am I to complain?

BOGGY

How to describe the bottom of a lake that is both solid and liquid at the same time.

BONA FIDES

The road to hell is paved with bona fides.

BOODLE

How underground poker players should call their wagers.

BOONDOGGLE

Repeating this word over and over to annoy my peers would be a great example of a BOONDOGGLE.

BOSOMY

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

BOUNTIFUL

A fancy word for ‘a lot’.

BOWDLERIZE

Used by writers to widen their audiences. The complete opposite is often used by internet trolls to, and I quote ‘’trigger’’ some people.

BRAGGADOCIO

The behaviour that everyone should express when they talk about their better halves (but NEVER about themselves).

BRAWNY

When you can open the pickle jar by yourself.

BREAD-AND-BUTTER

A grilled cheese without cheese.

BREAST-BEATING

An overrated display of sadness. The sadness of a literal definition would’ve been underrated.

BREVITY

The ultimate goal of a good summary.

BRIDE PRICE

Unfortunately, this one is literal. ☹

BRISTLE

The type of animal hair used to comb human hair.

BROCCOFLOWER

The best of both worlds.

BROWBEAT

Usually how shitty elder siblings intimidate their younger siblings.

BROWNOUT

How we should use electricity in today’s age.

BUCK-PASSING

The figural definition would be to wash one self’s hands.

BULLHEADED

When being perseverant becomes a flaw.

BUMPTIOUS

When being confident becomes a flaw.

BURBLE

If you whisper something and gets ‘’what?’’ as a response.

BURGUNDY

The wine, the city, the colour! (pick your favourite)

BUSK

Perform voluntarily in random places and in the hopes of hoping for voluntary money.

BUTTERFINGERS

My high school nickname.

BUXOM

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

BYWORD

The perfect example would be the word example.